Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Them Crazy Veeps: 19-18

The Veeps are ranked and ready to go. Starting at the middle, as the green numbers get lower, the guys get better, but as the red numbers go down, we get into some crazy-ass mother-fuckers. (3 of 12)

#19 - Thomas Riley Marshall (Governor, Democrat-IN) 1913-1921 (2 full terms) Pres: Wilson

Marshall was exactly an active VP like Wilson needed. When the president went abroad, he trusted his second in command to run the country in his absense. That trust only went so far, though. When Wilson suffered a debilitating stroke, the president and first lady conspired to keep his condition hidden, lest Marshall have cause to take over. With good reason, the Wilsons saw Marshall as more of a fun party guy than a world leader. As cries for him to forcefully take over rose, Marshall gets a lot of credit for realizing these calls came more from a desire to oust Wilson than any greater good.

#18 - John Nance Garner IV (Speaker of the House, Democrat-TX) 1933-1941 (2 full terms, dropped) Pres: F. D. Roosevelt

Garner hated FDR about as much as Clinton hated Madison. During his second term, Garner hit his breaking point when FDR tried to pack the supreme court. He's not lower because he had the good sense and legislative experience to support his president for more than a full term. Garner helped usher the New Deal through the Congress, and helped his president maintain support in Washington. That support was long forgotten in 1940, when the president slapped him twice in a row. Had Roosevelt not run for a third term, the White House would have easily been Garner's, and had the president not dropped him from the ticket, his political career would not have been completely over.

#19 - Chester Alan Arthur (former Collector, Republican-NY) 1881 (ascended) Pres: Garfield

Not long before the party bullied Arthur onto the ticket, President Hayes had him removed from office for massive corruption. Loyal only to party leader Roscoe Conkling, Arthur engendered nothing but distrust from his president. Something must have clicked in his head when Charles Guiteau shouted upon shooting President Garfield, "Arthur is President now!" As president, he took major steps to keep Conkling and the other corrupt influences out of government. Judging him as VP only, he was dangerously pro-corruption.

#18 - Charles Gates Dawes (Nobel laureate, Republican-OH) 1925-1929 (1 full term) Pres: Coolidge

Dawes suffered from being the smartest guy in the room. He started his tenure by assuring his president he wouldn't attend cabinet meetings, thereby pissing off Coolidge. His inaugural address attacked all the major traditions of the Senate, thereby overshadowing the president's speech and pissing off the Senate. He slept through an attorney general confirmation hearing, resulting in the first ever Senate confirmation loss. Imagine how badly things would have gone if this dickhead was in office on Black Tuesday.

Coming Up - Which VP spent four years trying to get his president out of office?

Later - Which VP was so awful, his president refused to have a running mate when he ran for re-election?

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