Incumbent Losers in Brief

The year is 1789. A group of rich, white land owners are gathering together to enact the first of many flawed democratic traditions. Given two votes each, electors chose a guy born in Scotland, some Georgia farmer, and some guy named James Armstrong. More importantly, every single one of them used their other vote on George Washington. Eleven years later (1800), the same fucked up process came one Hamilton arm twist away from putting Aaron Burr in the White House, but more importantly, it was the first time an incumbent, John Adams, had lost re-election.

Adams’ Federalist Party had crumbled, leaving Jefferson’s proto-Republicans in charge through the most stable time in US Political history, ending when John Quincy Adams became president despite clearly losing the election. Andrew Jackson led a four year charge against him until, 28 years after his father’s defeat (1828), JQ became the second Adams and second incumbent to lose re-election.

Only 12 years later, after Jackson spent eight years destroying the economy, an economic panic tanked his successor’s re-election chances, and in 1840 Martin Van Buren lost to a rich drunk the people mistook for a poor drunk.
Keep Reading >>

Elections in Brief: Top 10 Third Party Candidates

I'm tired of hearing about people talking about voting for Jill Stein or Gary Johnson. Not because I disagree with them but because most of them have no idea what voting for a third party candidate means (if this isn't you, don't get offended, it's not about you then). I'd venture a guess none of them have ever heard of Eugene Debs, the most tenacious third party candidate in US History. Do they know anything about historical third parties or their role in American politics? Or why we don't have any small, strong parties today? Instead of mocking these ignoramuses (ignoramii?) , it's time to get educated.

I'm not just going to lecture here about the dangers of third party presidential candidates. Ralph Nader arguably turned the results of the 2000 election. As a result, people who want to vote for a third party candidate keep having to hear about the futility of that decision. Nader won only 2.74% of the vote and received no electoral votes, but he still tipped the election toward the candidate most ideologically opposed to himself, George W. Bush. Is this always the result? With the two parties controlling the entire political process, is there hope for third-party candidates? Here's a list of the top 10 most successful third-party candidates, by success in both electoral votes and percentage of popular vote. Nader doesn't even rank on this list, and he tipped an election.

Keep Reading >>

Elections in Brief: Non-Incumbent Elections & Hillary Clinton

The election of 2016 is unprecedented, and not just because Hillary Clinton is the first woman to be a major party's candidate. If she wins, she will have accomplished something no Democrat has done since 1856. Let me explain.

Since 1788, we have held 56 elections (2016 will be 57). Of those 56, 24 have not included an incumbent president as a candidate, like this go-round. Before 1828, the whole electoral system was very different. That all changed in 1828 when the Democrats won the White House for the first time, so for the purposes of this exercise, we will start there and just lob off the first ten elections. That's 46 elections, 20 of which did not include an incumbent.

Of those 20, Democrats have only won 7, and of those 7, only 2 follow a Democrat president.

Following a Democrat President  Year   President  Followed By   1836   Jackson  Van Buren  1848  Polk  Taylor  1856  Pierce  Buchanan  1860  Buchanan  Lincoln  1868  A. Johnson (VP)   Grant  1896  Cleveland  McKinley  1920  Wilson  Harding  1952  Truman  Eisenhower  1968  L. Johnson  Nixon  2000  B. Clinton  W. Bush

Following a Republican President  Year   President  Followed By   1844   Tyler (VP)  Polk  1852  Fillmore (VP)   Pierce  1876  Grant  Hayes  1880  Hayes  Garfield  1884  Arthur (VP)  Cleveland  1908  T. Roosevelt  Taft  1928  Coolidge  Hoover  1960  Eisenhower  Kennedy  1988  Reagan  H.W. Bush  2008  W. Bush  Obama

Keep Reading >>

Election Whatever: I Stopped Caring

A few of these elections in, I realized the format just wasn't working. I wanted to keep them short, but an election just has too many characters and too complex a story to tell in such a short period of time. There's no suspense, no twists because we all know the results.

As we get to the more recent elections, it's all stuff people know. This month was supposed to be Kennedy/Nixon 1960. We all know Kennedy won because he's pretty, and Nixon lost because he looked stiff on TV. We all also know the Kennedys basically bought the election, and the unsubstantiated fraud accusations aren't even worth mentioning. Kennedy defined the '60s, and Nixon probably would have made Vietnam worse. At least that guy never made it into the White House.

Oh wait.

Keep Reading >>

Election 1948: Dewey Defeats Diddly Squat

DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN may be the most famous newspaper headline in the history of the medium. No one really remembers, though, why the president who won WWII was so defeatable, and why a guy whose name reminds you of a warm, wet morning was such a shoe-in for president. Ooh please, please let me tell you all about it.

The Contenders

President Harry S Truman (Democrat-MO) – Even though he won the war, Truman had trouble escaping FDR’s sizeable shadow. He was just a failed haberdasher from Missouri who was thrown on the ticket at the last minute because then VP Wallace was too liberal. His post-war record was hardly stellar, and his regular-guy attitude hardly matched the presidentiality of his predecessor.

Governor Thomas Edmund Dewey (Republican-NY) – In 1944, he led an impressive campaign against the unbeatable Roosevelt. When Truman turned out as banal as everyone assumed he was, this towering, powerful New Yorker’s victory seemed assured.

Former Vice President Henry Agard Wallace (Progressive-IO) – Still pissed that he was replaced on the 1944 ticket, therefore not becoming president when FDR died, Wallace spent the rest of his life as Truman’s harshest critic. He basically re-formed the Progressive Party just to take Truman down.

Governor James Strom Thurmond (Dixiecrat-SC) – Before he became that bat shit crazy, racist 100-year-old Senator, Strom Thurmond was a bat shit crazy, racist presidential candidate.  Like what put Breckinridge on the ticket in 1860, Democrats stormed out of the convention over Truman’s stance on civil rights.

The Fight

Let’s just list the reasons Truman didn’t have a chance:
Strike 1: A failing economy. When the bomb quickly ended the war, the economy was unprepared for the flood of veterans’ suddenly returning home and an end to wartime production, leading to wide-spread strikes. All blamed on Truman.
Strike 2: He alienated labor unions. To quell a national railroad strike, Truman threatened to draft the union members into the military. Organized labor is to this day the core of the Democratic base, and now they hated him.
Strike 3: He recognized the state of Israel. He did it against the advice of Sec. of State George Marshall, who was so popular at the time, Truman insisted the plan to rebuild Europe be named after him, instead of himself. So now Marshall supporters were against him too.
Strike 4: He de-segregated the military. The Democratic Party was still, in 1948, the party of the South. Even super liberal Wilson was super racist. So, yeah, Truman, as a human, good call. As a Democrat, not so much.
Strike 5: He was up against two Democrats. Even before the civil rights thing, Truman had to face former Democratic VP Wallace, but now he had to also face Thurmond, who hoped to sweep Southern Democrats.

Refusing to acknowledge his election was anything but assured, Truman went on a national train tour charming the pants off everyone he met. He promised a Fair Deal for all Americans, in order to invoke FDR’s New Deal. He charged Dewey would undo FDR’s work, and return the country to the unstable economy that led to the Depression. That, Truman said, would be good for the Communists.

In contrast, Dewey hardly campaigned at all. Back in ’44 the campaign devolved into a mudslinging contest with the then President Roosevelt. In '48, though, he was so far ahead in the polls, his strategists figured the best way to win was to avoid offending anyone. One journalist summed up Dewey's four major speeches with the following quotes, “Agriculture is important. Our rivers are full of fish. You cannot have freedom without liberty. Our future lies ahead.”

The Title

People turned out in droves to vote for Truman, even though they had no hopes that he’d win. They just liked him and wanted to show him people supported him. Add to that, his overwhelming support in the black and Jewish communities. In sharp contrast, Dewey’s bland campaign and centrist leanings didn’t exactly inspire people to get out the vote. Hardly a resounding re-election, Truman’s second term was an all-around failure, topped off by the disastrous Korean War.

In the mid-‘60s, Dewey became disillusioned with how conservative the Republican party had become and retired from public service. His most lasting contribution came in 1952, when he convinced Eisenhower to make his running mate freshman California Senator Richard Nixon.

Next Up – Election 1960: This Guy’s Pretty, That Guy’s Sweaty

Election 1912: Beware the Bull Moose

As the century turned, Republicans led by William McKinley and Teddy Roosevelt led the largest build-up of federal power since Lincoln. They expanded the American Empire, busted trusts, and started the country’s first real steps toward wide-spread conservation. So how the hell did the Republicans become the conservative party? Here’s how.

The Contenders

President William Howard Taft (R-OH) – Although Roosevelt picked his friend as his successor to the presidency, Taft was a strict constitutional constructionist. He believed that all that power and authority his buddy TR scooped up went way beyond what the constitution allowed. Like his Republican predecessors, he gave all federal control back to Congress and settled into the wholly 19th Century position of just being chief administrator.

Former President Theodore Roosevelt, Jr. (P-NY) – TR returned from a much heralded African safari to find his buddy Taft had shat all over his dreams for America. He thought his friend weak for allowing Congress to take over. Even though he promised not to run for a third term back in 1908, he couldn’t stand to see his old chum fuck up the country any more. He threw his hat into the ring as the Progressive (or Bull Moose) Party candidate.

Governor Thomas Woodrow Wilson (D-VA) – Just look at the man. Compared to the burly, mustachioed presidents to serve since Buchanan, he didn’t even look presidential. Let’s be honest, he looked like Buchanan. He opposed Mr. Democrat himself, William Jennings Bryan, and his only real political experience was about a year as Governor of New Jersey. This former Princeton professor didn’t have a chance.

The Fight

Taft gave a couple speeches and returned to the White House. Let’s just sort of forget him for now. Wilson and Roosevelt took to the country Bryan-style offering what ended up being two styles of Progressivism. Wilson’s “New Freedom” promised to bust trusts and support labor unions. Roosevelts “New Nationalism” went about as far left as any major candidate had ever done, promising large-scale regulation of business and a wide-reaching system of social welfare.

Just before an event in Milwaukee, a guy shot TR. In a very Jackson-like show of manliness, Roosevelt gave his speech before allowing himself to be taken to the hospital. That display was not enough, though, to win over the conservative wing of his former party.

As election day grew nearer, the outcome could not have been more clear. Without Roosevelt in the mix, the majority of voters would have gone for Taft, but there was old TR screwing over his old protégé. Seeing his clear victory, Wilson turned his attention to Congressional races. As a last fuck you to Bryan, Wilson won with fewer votes than Bryan received in 1896, 1900, or 1908.

The Title

The Wilson presidency started the major resurgence of the Democratic Party. He established the Federal Reserve and oversaw the ratification of the 17th, 18th, and 19th amendments. His New Freedom was the clear inspiration for FDR’s New Deal. When WWI broke out, he kept us neutral as long as he could, and in the wake of the war, tried his darnedest to form the League of Nations. A stroke and 12 years of conservative presidents dismantled pretty much undid most of that.

Roosevelt petitioned Wilson to allow him to lead a group of volunteers into the War. Wilson refused. Most of the Bull Moose’s later life was spent dying of a leg infection he contracted in Brazil. But hey, in exchange, the Brazilians named Rio Roosevelt after him.

President Harding appointed Taft Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, where he spent the rest of his life.

But now back to my original question. Much like what happened with Van Buren in 1848, Roosevelt sucked the progressives out of the Republican Party. When the Progressive Party fell apart, they found themselves more closely aligned with Wilson. The electoral victories of Harding, Coolidge, and Hoover helped build up the Republican Party’s conservative base. And that’s how we have the parties we have today. Kind of makes you wish we had a TR to kick the shit out of today's parties.

Next Up – Election 1948: Dewey Defeats Diddly Squat

Election 1896: War of the Words

When you hear William McKinley, if it rings any bells, you’re thinking of the big mountain in Alaska. When you hear the name William Jennings Bryan, if it’s familiar at all, you think of the raving lunatic from “Inherit the Wind.” What you probably don’t know is in 1896, these men forever changed presidential politics in this country.

The Contenders

Former Governor William McKinley (Republican-OH) – McKinley was nothing short of a political genius. He loved helping people, and as a Congressman in 1890, he pushed through the largest tariff in American history, so he could help American manufacturing flourish. Unfortunately, the McKinley Tariff basically caused the Panic of 1893. For any lesser man, that would have been the end of his political career.

Former Congressman William Jennings Bryan (Democrat-IL) – Bryan was the most awe inspiring orator of his age. He took his magic voice out for a spin and became the most ardent supporter of the free coinage of silver. (What the fuck does that mean?) At the 1896 Democratic Convention, he denounced the gold standard in his famous “Cross of Gold” speech, which catapulted him from convention speaker to presidential nominee. So wide was the support for “Bimetallism” that Bryan also won the nomination of the Populist and Silver Republican Parties.

The Fight

Still reeling from the Panic, the people were looking more and more to the government for solutions. Gold vs. Silver vs. Bimetallism, High vs. Low tariffs, Isolationism vs. Expansionism, no party could decide on their platforms. Even though the Democrats went with silver-supporting Bryan, an entire faction of Gold Democrats wanted to re-nominate President Cleveland. McKinley and Bryan, though, made their stances known, and the next step was to convince the voters, one at a time if necessary (and it was).

Newspapers wrote off Bryan’s candidacy as a joke. At 36, he remains to this day the country’s youngest presidential candidate, and his wild style earned him the reputation as a demagogue. From the convention to election, he got on a train, going town to town, sometimes giving 5 speeches a day, speaking to everyone possible. His youthful energy and preacher style enraptured and convinced everyone in attendance. This seems like nothing now, but that was the first time a candidate did that.

The Republicans still ran the campaign old school. They were much better funded, and they sent out engrossing speakers, like Theodore Roosevelt, to support McKinley and push Bryan’s bat shit crazy image. McKinley went out on his front porch to deliver a speech nearly every day. Unlike Bryan, McKinley’s speeches translated nicely into the printed word. People read newspaper stories and flocked from all over the country to hear him speak.

For the first time, a presidential campaign wasn’t just about songs and party platforms. The two candidates, their personalities and their politics, became the real focus of the race, and it worked. With a nearly 80% voter turnout, even though Bryan lost to McKinley, he still received more single votes than any winning candidate before him.

The Title

The economy picked up, and the McKinley presidency quickly became about something else entirely. Although he denounced war and imperialism in his first inaugural, circumstances of the changing world led President McKinley to start expanding territories into Hawaii, Puerto Rico, and the Philippines. Starting with the Spanish-American War, McKinley expanded the role of the presidency and ushered in the Progressive Era.

Bryan unsuccessfully tried to take down McKinley in 1900, and then lost again to Taft in 1908. As his stances became more indecisive, he never again won an election, but his far-flung brilliance arguably inspired many of the ideas behind the Progressive Era: Imperialism, Women’s Suffrage, Prohibition, popular election of Senators, and most infamously, Income Tax.

When the Taft administration basically killed the Progressive Era, it was any man’s game.

Next Up - Election 1912: Beware the Bull Moose

Election 1876: A Centennial Clusterfuck

The election of 1876 fell on an important historic year, the Centennial. It fell on the heels of a two-term president, Grant, who entered office wildly popular but left in scandal. Disputed results in Florida led to a decision involving the Supreme Court handing the White House to a guy who lost the popular vote. Sound familiar? If Election 2000 pissed you off, it might piss you off even more to find out it's not the first time it happened.

The Contenders

The candidates themselves are the least interesting parts of the story. Both Governor Rutherford Hayes (Republican-OH) and Governor Samuel Tilden (Democrat-NY) were long standing party faithfuls who stood staunchly against the type of corruption that overtook the Grant presidency. As was the case back then, the candidates did very little themselves. It was the parties who really ran the show.

The Democratic Party – Still the power base in the South, Democrats controlled the House of Representatives. They hadn’t held the White House (Johnson really didn’t count, as he was just a drunken schmuck) since Buchanan, and as such they could not stop passage of the Fifteenth Amendment, giving blacks the right to vote. Knowing this large new block of voters would never vote for the pro-slavery party, Democrats, allegedly supported efforts to openly threaten any black person intending to vote.

The Republican Party – The Party of Lincoln, Republicans controlled the White House, the Senate, and by mandate many Southern governorships. In response to charges of voter intimidation, Republicans allegedly infiltrated local voting boards all over the country in an attempt to block any results they felt were “tainted,” resulting in what would be if true the largest conspiracy of voter fraud in our nation’s history.

The Fight

Charges of intimidation and fraud went up all over the place causing the state electors in Florida, Louisiana, Oregon, and South Carolina to send to the Senate, for final tally, two or more contradicting results. In all four cases state legislatures favored Hayes.  Without these four states, Tilden fell just one vote shy of the majority needed to win. With results in limbo, and Tilden so close to winning, Congress came up with a plan. Clearly everything would be fine.

Knowing that simply leaving it up to the House, as the Constitution mandated, would not be enough to quell voters still hard-pressed to trust the government after the Civil War, Congress formed a 15 person electoral committee. Chosen from the House, Senate, and Supreme Court, 15 people (7 Democrats, 7 Republicans, 1 politically neutral) would decide which votes to count. So basically, the entire planned hinged on Associate Justice David Davis, who was the only man in a generation who could truly be considered without political bias. But Davis was elected to the Senate without his knowledge so he had to resign from the commission. There goes that idea.

The plan based entirely on Davis's neutrality now fell to his replacement justice, Joseph Bradley. Not exactly a party loyalist or really all that neutral, Bradley did the best he could. In a nutshell, deciding for Tilden meant supporting the suppression of black votes and federal government intervention in state decisions, like election results. Deciding for Hayes meant supporting massive voter fraud but also the rights for states to decide elections without interference.

At the last possible minute, and allegedly after Republican leaders offered him a lot of money, Bradley went for Hayes. This is how we, as a stable democracy, chose our 19th President. Awesome.

The Title

The American people immediately cried foul. Southerners refused to follow the president they did not believe they elected, even going as far as threatening another war. To keep everyone happy, Hayes passed the Compromise of 1877, ending military occupation of the South, sounding the death knell for Reconstruction, and opening the doors to state sponsored violence against blacks. No skin off Hayes’s back, he was much happier focusing on rooting out corruption in federal office appointments.

The election and its aftermath took its toll on Tilden. He died in 1886, long enough to see a real Democrat (fuck you, Andrew Johnson) in the White House. In reference to this scandalous election, Tilden’s tombstone reads, “I Still Trust the People.”

Next Up – Election 1896: War of the Words

Election 1860: *SPOILER ALERT* Lincoln Wins

We all learned about this in school. Lincoln wins, the South secedes. With all the terms and dates and philosophies flying about in the preceding 20 years, how did the complicated debate over states rights, popular sovereignty, personal liberties, and slavery all boil down to one election? Here’s how.

The Contenders

Former Congressman Abraham Lincoln (Republican-KY) – When the Kansas-Nebraska Act opened the flood gates to allow slavery in the West, the Whigs, Free Soilers, and several smaller parties all coalesced into the staunchly anti-slavery Republican Party. Their young, eloquent and vibrant candidate Lincoln was actually a moderate. He wasn’t even morally opposed to slavery, he just wanted the issue resolved, so we could focus on other pressing problems.

Senator Stephen A. Douglas (Democrat-VT) – Like all Democrats, Douglas, chief architect of the Kansas-Nebraska Act, saw the coming storm. If Lincoln won, the South would not tolerate him as their president. His solution laid firmly in his belief in “popular sovereignty,” that each new territory should decide their slave status on their own. Douglas represented old-school Democrats, with total devotion to liberty and populism.

Vice President John C. Breckinridge (Democrat-KY) – At the 1860 convention, Southerners stormed out in protest when the Party refused to put federal protections for slavery on the table. After the Northern wing of the Party nominated Douglas, the South nominated Breckinridge. He believed in order to block slavery in the West, Southerners needed a federal guarantee their rights would not be taken away.

Former Senator John Bell (Constitutional Union-TN) – If Douglas was the Northern Democrat, and Breckinridge was the Southern Democrat, Bell was the border state guy. Realizing any Civil War would be fought in these states, Bell’s main goal was to keep the country out of war at all costs.

The Fight

Breckinridge was a darling in the South, but held nothing in the North. Lincoln held a pretty strong majority in the North, but he wasn’t even on the ballot in the South. Realizing the election was on his shoulders, Douglas went on a nation-wide speaking tour, even into the South where he was seen as a traitor to their cause. Only by gaining cross-country support could Douglas take down the dangerous Lincoln.

At the eleventh hour, the Democratic Party sent senior party member Samuel Tilden to try to broker a fusion ticket, combining Breckinridge, Douglas, and Bell. Tilden went in to make a compromise figuring Southern Democrats cared a lot about slavery, but Northern Democrats just didn’t care. Turns out not every abolitionist ran to the Republican Party, and the surprisingly large number of anti-slavery Democrats refused to sponsor a ticket that included the ardently pro-slavery Breckinridge.

For the most part, the election results were pretty predictable. Lincoln swept the North. Breckinridge swept the South. Douglas took Missouri, which is funny because his Kansas-Nebraska Act took a big shit on the Missouri Compromise. Bell became the real spoiler, though. His anti-secession message sold the middle states, so much so in Virginia that the state permanently split over the issue.

The Title

Lincoln won. Civil War broke out. Duh.

Douglas became an ardent anti-secessionist, going around the country stumping for Lincoln, until his death in June 1861.

The fact the Civil War happened crushed Bell’s soul, and then the War itself ravaged most of his property and business holdings.

Breckinridge fought his ass off for the Confederacy, eventually becoming Jefferson Davis’s Sec. of War. Fearing a treason conviction, he got in a tiny boat and fled.

You might be surprised to learn, though, the guy who takes us into next month, is Samuel Tilden.

Next Up – Election 1876: A Centennial Clusterfuck

Election 1848: Holy Shit! Slavery!

President Polk swept into office promising to achieve America's Manifest Destiny by owning Atlantic to Pacific, Canada to Mexico. He led the country into the Mexican-American War to annex Texas and California. To try to win over Whigs, he promised to serve only one term, so when all this new territory kicked up the slavery debate, it was someone else's mess to clean up.

The Contenders

General Zachary Taylor (Whig-VA) – The Whigs once again found the most Jackson-looking guy and nominated him, even though Taylor had never taken a political stance on anything. Taylor was such a public force that Polk tried to ensure his failure by cutting his fight force down to 6,000 men. Taylor used those men to take down a Mexican regiment of 20,000, thereby solidifying his status as "Old Rough and Ready."

Senator Lewis Cass (Democrat-NH) – Despite being a giving and sympathetic political leader, Lewis Cass was an open and unashamed racist. As Jackson's Sec. of War, he made Indian Removal as bloody and brutal as possible. Since I can't write anything as bat-shit racist as he could, I'll let Lewis Cass tell you his views on slavery, "If the relation of master and servant may be regulated or annihilated... so may the relation of husband and wife, or parent and child..."

Former President Martin Van Buren (Free Soil-NY) - The Free Soil Party popped up in 1848 as the only party willing to take a non-negotiable stance against slavery. As the movement's most well respected member, Van Buren became the party's natural candidate.

The Fight

The general Whig stance was to keep out of important issues, like slavery, and just let the people decide. Non-committal Taylor was their poster child. The Democrats, on the other hand, wanted to do something, but they couldn't decide what. Cass stressed legislation to protect personal liberties, while his opponents stressed legislation to ban the evils of slavery from the new Western territories.

Free Soilers sought to scoop up enough Whigs and Democrats disillusioned with their parties lack of moral leadership. This would have worked pretty well had they not nominated the guy who created the Democratic Party. Even ardent anti-slavery Whigs couldn't stomach Van Buren. Way to go guys, you could have ended slavery by creating a viable moderate third party. Come to think of it, had to created a viable third party, we wouldn't be stuck in a two-party system now. Thanks, douchebags.

The election was ridiculously close. Both Taylor and Cass held support in the North and South. The deciding factor would be Van Buren, and the fight for the Democratic soul in New York. With Democratic votes split, Van Buren's home state, along with the presidency, went to Taylor.

The Title

After the election, President Taylor finally stopped keeping his politics to himself. He threatened to veto The Compromise of 1850, championed by Captain Whig, Henry Clay because of its many concessions to the South. When he died in 1850, his successor Millard Fillmore supported and passed the Compromise, which included among other things, the Fugitive Slave Act. Good times.

James Polk, most likely to stick it to critics of his one-term plan, died 4 months after leaving office. Good thing too. I don't think I can process the idea of a guy named President Dallas.

Cass became Buchanan's Sec. of State, but he resigned because Buchanan was a fucking dickweed.

The Democrats found themselves at odds with their own platform. Stephen Douglas (Dem-IL), chief architect of The Compromise of 1850, didn't necessarily believe in slavery, but he believed if the government could abolish slavery, it could abolish other rights. This put the people's party in the complicated position of supporting people's rights to own people. Martin Van Buren, his new party drawing away anti-slavery Democrats, lived to see the party he built around Jackson become the pro-slavery party.

Next Up - Election 1860: *SPOILER ALERT* Lincoln Wins

Election 1840: A Cult of Personality

By this point, popular vote, not back-room state electors decided presidential elections. With Jackson as their champion, the people gained increasing power over their own lives. Jackson dissolved the Bank of the U.S., giving the people back control of their money. In 1836, Martin Van Buren rode Jackson’s coat-tails easily into the White House over a divided Whig Party. The Panic of 1837, the country’s biggest economic crisis to date, blamed largely on the collapse of the Bank, destroyed Van Buren’s presidency and opened the door to the opposition.

The Contenders

President Martin Van Buren (Democrat-NY) – No Jacksonian was more unlike Jackson than Van Buren. Hailing from the uber-upscale Kinderhook, NY, he was an effete rich guy, whose brilliant political mind formed the Democratic Party, got Jackson elected, and got himself appointed Vice President and elected President. The Panic tanked his presidency before it got started, and for the first time since 1824, Populism wasn’t an easy sell to the people.

General William Henry Harrison (Whig-OH) – No anti-Jacksonian was more like Jackson than Harrison. His leadership led to a great victory (the Battle of Tippicanoe, earning him the nickname “Old Tippicanoe”) in the War of 1812. He was a towering figure, a hard drinker, and the most charismatic man in American politics since, well, Jackson. As a Whig, though, he believed the Congress needed to take back more power to save the people from the Panic they created. He was most outspoken about wanting to establish a one-term limit on the presidency, spitting in the face of Jackson's benevolent dictatorship.

The Fight

Before 1840, elections were usually about one of two things: policy or geography. State electors voted for the guy who believed what they believed, or lived the closest. That wouldn’t fly this time. The stuffy, wealthy priss was a Populist who held influence from New York to the South, and the drunken brawler was a pro-big business guy who enjoyed support from the West to New England. For the first time, this election would be decided entirely by personality, a popularity contest.

The sort of wild character attacks we see in elections nowadays really started right here in 1840. The Democrats took the first swing. A Baltimore Democratic newspaper wrote that the extremely fucking old Harrison should just collect his military pension and sit at home in his log cabin drinking hard cider. The Whigs turned that right around and called Harrison the “Log Cabin” candidate, a regular guy who was in touch with the people.

Both parties turned the election process into an all out media blitz, with speeches and songs and rallies and banners and buttons. The Whigs held events in log cabins, passing out hard cider to all who attended. Their slogan “Tippicanoe and Tyler Too” (referring to Harrison’s running mate John Tyler) had a much better ring to it than Van Buren’s nickname, “Old Kinderhook.”

Whigs voraciously went after Van Buren’s prissy Kinderhook image. He had a long, public record of unbridled ambition, the sly fox pulling Jackson’s strings, controlling the people’s destinies behind their backs. The Democrats turned that image on its head, opening up O.K. Clubs, which brought the common man into the big world of politics.

Van Buren’s mighty political machine was facing its first major foe, and imminent defeat. Up until this point, only Adamses lost re-election. Could a political genius like Martin Van Buren really be as unpopular as an Adams?

The Title

Harrison kicked Van Buren’s ass, hard core, 234-60 electoral votes, even winning Van Buren’s home state. The Harrison administration is nothing to speak of because he died within a month. His Ascendancy, President Tyler alienated his entire party by blocking their attempts to resurrect the Bank of the U. S., and went totally off the reservation by supporting the annexation of Texas. Annexation became the platform that got Democrat James K. Polk elected in 1844.

The ripples of this election influenced every election to come. The image of the Log Cabin became the symbol of westward expansion, and presidential candidates who invoked the Log Cabin usually got a huge bump (more on them in later installments). The term “O.K.” survives to this day to describe something pretty good but not great, much like Van Buren. Most importantly, the gloves came off. Everything about a presidential candidate’s persona and personal history became relevant to the election.

As for Van Buren, that’s a story for another time.

Next Up – Election 1848: Holy Shit! Slavery!

Election 1824: Enter Andrew Jackson

In a feat never repeated (yet) Democratic-Republicans Jefferson, Madison, and Monroe completed three 2-term administrations in a row. Monroe did such a good job of bringing all sides together; the so-called “Era of Good Feelings” destroyed both the Federalist and Democratic-Republican parties. Everything was great. No one had any real issues to complain about or rally behind. What emerged were sectional leaders, who accepted the nomination of their home-state’s caucus.

The Contenders


(left to right)
Speaker of the House Henry Clay (KY) – Although he couldn’t just come out and say it, Henry Clay was a Hamiltonian who believed bigger government was the solution to all major problems. A master negotiator, he brokered the Missouri Compromise, which put the slavery issue in a drawer for nearly 30 years.

Senator, General Andrew Jackson (TN) –In the Battle of New Orleans, fought after the War of 1812 ended, Jackson kicked way more British ass than any battle during the war. He became an instant national celebrity. There was no question, this man was going to be President.

Secretary of State John Quincy Adams (MA) – Jefferson, Madison, and Monroe had all parlayed their time as Sec. of State to the presidency, so Adams seemed the natural successor. It didn't hurt that in 1820, he won the only electoral vote not awarded to President Monroe.

Secretary of the Treasury William H. Crawford (GA) – Crawford unsuccessfully ran against Monroe in 1816. His presidential ambition made him effective at his job but annoying to basically everyone.

The Fight

Despite some pretty major philosophical differences, all the candidates were publicly Jeffersonians. The contest would come down to personality. Jackson was the biggest figure to hit the American people since George Washington himself. John Quincy was the elite heir to the Adams family. Clay was the great orator of the Congress. Crawford had dared to take on the great James Monroe. Without formal political parties, it really was a free-for-all.

Predictably, the sections of the country that nominated their candidates stuck to them on election day. Adams carried New England and New York; Clay found success in the West, and Crawford held his own in the South, even though he had suffered a debilitating stroke. Jackson was the only candidate to seriously cross regional lines. By a 15 vote margin, Jackson won a decisive plurality of electoral votes. Adams won 2nd, Crawford 3rd, and Clay 4th. That's right, Clay lost to a stroke victim. Since no one won a full majority, the results once again deferred to the House of Representatives.

The Constitution stated that the Congress would have to decide between the top three vote getters. The issue at hand was who would get Clay’s 37 electoral votes.  Clay’s role as Speaker gave him a ridiculous amount of authority over these results. Rumor has it, he made a deal with Adams, which would explain how Clay ended up as President JQA’s Secretary of State. Jackson's pissed off supporters immediately cried fix, feeling their people's champion had been usurped by the big, scary, corrupt government.

The Title

Adams was a shittier politician than his father, and he was thrown into the most volatile political situation than, well, his father. He implemented massive internal improvements, which would have been perceived as benevolent if he could sell it that way. He couldn't. He was so hated, his own Vice President turned on him. He did, however, spend a lot of time swimming naked in the Potomac.

Jacksonsonians went and turned themselves into the Democratic Party. Crawford's running mate Martin Van Buren mobilized Democrats into an organized effort to undermine President Adams, villify Clay, and get Jackson elected in 1828. In 2 terms as president, he beat the shit out of everyone, destroying the Bank of the US, turning the army on South Carolina, and changing the presidency forever.

Crawford died 10 years later, a Georgia superior court judge.

Clay fucking hated Andrew Jackson. He thought the former general was a tyrant whose single-minded style of leadership would turn this great country into a dictatorship. After his failed run against Jackson in 1832, he established the Whig Party, which formed under the single goal of taking down Andrew Jackson. With a loser like Clay at the helm, it took a while for their platform to really gel.

Next Up – Election 1840: A Cult of Personality

Election 1800: A Second Revolution

John Adams and Thomas Jefferson had been close friends, kindred spirits since the First Continental Congress. While serving as diplomats in France, their friendship became akin to kinship. While serving in Washington's administration, their philosophical differences tore them apart. That fight turned into opposing political parties: Federalists and Democratic-Republicans.

The Contenders:

Quick rules lesson: Back then electors voted for two men, one of which had to be from a different state. The winner was president, runner-up vice president. That's why each party chose two candidates, and that's why each party chose a Northerner and a Southerner. That's also why in 1796 the president and vice president were from different parties.

President John Adams (Federalist-MA) - Having grown up among the working men, he believed they could not be trusted with the important decisions, even who got to be president. As president, he ignored public opinion and refused to get involved in the French Revolution. To quell opposition, he passed the Alien and Sedition Acts, which allowed him to deport protesters and jail anyone who spoke out or wrote against him.


Vice President Thomas Jefferson (Democratic-Republican-VA) - Having grown up among the uber-rich, he believed the aristocracy couldn't be trusted to act in the best interest of the people. He saw the Adams presidency as a symbol of that distrust. The Federalist party, he thought, would re-form the government into the very monarchy we had just fought to remove.



Former Senator Aaron Burr (Democratic-Republican-NJ) - Having grown up in chaos, served in the Revolutionary War in chaos, and wallowed in financial chaos, he sought escape in politics. His only real political philosophy was that he deserved to be in power, and nothing should stand in the way of that.




Former Minister to France Charles Cotesworth "C.C." Pinckney (Federalist-SC) - Just think of him as the Federalist who isn't John Adams.






Former Treasury Secretary Alexander Hamilton (Federalist, Nevis) - The story would not be complete without mentioning Alexander Hamilton. Born on the island of Nevis, Hamilton could never be president, but he used his position as Washington's trusted advisor to take over the first president's policy direction. When Adams won in 1796, Hamilton filled his cabinet with Hamiltonian loyalists who reported to their leader before the president. Alexander Hamilton enjoyed absolute control until late 1800 when Adams finally grew a pair and fired the Hamiltonians from his cabinet.

The Fight:

Federalist newspapers ripped Jefferson apart, while the Sedition Act stopped Republican papers from doing the same to Adams. In response, the Republicans built their party like never before. In early 1800, they won the majority of the staunchly Federalist New York legislature, and their electoral votes.

Hamilton, in a last ditch effort to get his way, wrote a 54-page missive publicly ripping Adams a new asshole, in hopes Federalist electors would move toward Pinckney. On election day, Federalist votes were all over the place. The win in New York tipped the election to the Republicans for the first time in history. Jefferson and Burr tied with 73 electoral votes.

The tie went to the House of Representatives.For 33 ballots, they deadlocked as back rooms filled with Congressmen making deal after deal. Hamilton, who had long supported Jefferson over Burr as the lesser of two evils, finally got to one of those Representatives, and on the 34th ballot Jefferson won. Finally.

The Title:

In his inaugural address, Jefferson called his victory "a Second Revolution." The people didn't like the direction the government was going, so they went in a different direction and proved democracy could work. He won re-election in 1804.

After Hamilton stopped Burr from winning the New York governorship, Burr shot Hamilton and disappeared into the West, where he died at a ripe old, crazy age.

Pinckney became the go-to Federalist candidate for a few more elections.

Adams had trouble getting over losing to a man clearly more liked than himself. Eventually, he and Jefferson reconciled and corresponded over 150 times during the last 14 years of their lives. They both died July 4, 1826, the fiftieth anniversary of the Declaration of Independence.

Next Up - Election 1824: Enter Andrew Jackson