Harrison Tyler

This is Harrison Tyler. He was born in 1928 when his father, Lyon, was 75 years-old. Gross, right? Don’t judge Lyon too harshly. He comes by his creepy old dad vibe honestly. His father, John, was 63 years-old when he was born. Oh yeah, Lyon’s father and Harrison’s grandfather John was, for just under four years, president of the United States.

Okay, you may have heard about that. It’s pretty weird that a guy born in 1790 has a living grandson, especially when he supported the confederacy, I mean used to be president.

It seems like a cool homage for Lyon to name his son after William Henry Harrison, the guy who died so his dad could become president. But here’s the cool part. Harrison Tyler is also William Henry Harrison’s great-grandson.

Harrison’s son William is now in charge of the Tyler estate, Sherwood Forest. Next time you’re in Virginia, go say hi.

UFL Update: Tim Rattay

Okay, this isn’t really an update as much as a thing I just learned about former Las Vegas Locomotives quarterback Tim Rattay. Years before his UFL career, he was drafted to the 49ers with the 212th overall pick. Nine quarterbacks went before him.

What’s notable, though, is he was almost the 199th pick in his draft class. With six quarterbacks already off the board, the next team was staring at two names. Rattay seemed like the clear choice, but assistant coach Dick Rehbein was making a fuss about a mostly unimpressive but hard working kid from the University of Michigan.


Did I mention this was the 2000 draft? And had he been drafted at 199, Rattay would have had to fight for the starting job with future Frankfurt Galaxy player Michael Bishop, and the existing starter, who, at-the-time, was highest paid player of all time.

Who knows if by week 2 of the 2001 season, Rattay would have moved up past Bishop to #2 on the depth chart, so when QB Moneybags got decked by Mo Lewis, Rattay would have begun one of the most prolific careers of any professional athlete?

But we’ll never know, since Rehbein got his way when the New England Patriots drafted Tom Brady instead.

Also, Tim Rattay kind of sucks, so no, he wouldn’t have had Brady’s career.

Fun with Ranking Presidents

Boise State has released their latest ranking of the Presidents. As I’ve said many times before, this is an absurd undertaking. It’s impossible to fairly compare Presidents who faced different challenges, different worlds, different expectations, different jobs. I do find them fascinating. It’s worth it to see how modern politics affects how experts view history. Before reading further, I suggest you click the link above and look at their methodology and breakdowns. Don’t comment on bias in this list. It’s addressed in the breakdown.

On the breakdown, they mention that they asked the experts about which presidents were the most polarizing. More fascinating than the answer to that question is the actual breakdown on ideological lines in the study itself. They broke down how the experts voted based on their political affiliation. The differences and similarities among Republicans, Democrats, Conservatives, and Liberals is worth a look. First, where all four groups agree:

Within the Top 10: Lincoln Washington FDR T Roosevelt Jefferson Truman Eisenhower

Firmly in the middle: Cleveland Grant Ford

Within the Bottom 10: Taylor Tyler Harding Fillmore Trump Pierce A Johnson WH Harrison Buchanan

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Shitpost: Frasier

I'm sure I'll make more of these, so I'll just shove them all here.


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Shitpost: Zelda

I’m probably going to make a bunch of these, so I’ll drop them here.

Shitpost: Young, Scrappy, and Carrie

Numbers Time: The Glorious Clusterfuck

This has been a season of two vastly different conferences. The NFC has three teams escaping the doldrums to become NFL powerhouses, and four dominant teams slipping, but only a little. In all but one scenario, it will take 10 wins to make it to the NFC playoffs. On the other side, you’ve got 2 dynasties, and a bunch of bumbling idiots. The AFC byes are locked in because the only thing close to a third competitor just lost to the 49ers. Best case scenario, the #6 seed won’t be held by an 8-8 team. But we’ll get there. First, the games that don’t matter, either because both teams are out, or the one team that’s in is locked into their playoff slot.



AFC

The vastly inferior AFC has made for an interesting run to the playoffs, with four teams fighting for two wild card spots. All four divisions have been won, with the Jaguars locked into #3 and Chiefs into #4.



The last time an 0-4 made the playoffs was the ‘92 Chargers. The complicated NFL tie-breaking procedures are standing in the way of the ‘17 Chargers repeating that feat. Right now, the Ravens sit at #5 with 9-6 and the Titans hold #6 in a three-way 8-7 tie breaker with the #7 Chargers and #8 Bills. So the Ravens and Titans are in with wins, or if all four teams lose.

This is where it get complicated.

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Shitpost: Your Name is What?

Unexplained List: Swirling Currents

15) Balem Abrasax
14) Beaver’s neighbor
13) Laura’s older brother
12) Pluto Nash
11) A Martian crater
10) A couple of paradise tickets
9) The Comedian
8) Raymond Chandler gangster
7) The One
6) Pool hustling Paul Newman
5) Co-owner, Valiant & Valiant
4) Heart of Gold’s shipboard computer
3) Venom
2) A dress killer
1) ACE award for best editing

Explained List: Super Mario NOdyssey

[SPOILERS BELOW]

The two big games for the Nintendo Switch, Breath of the Wild and Super Mario Odyssey, are possibly two of the best games ever made, and they couldn’t be more different. BotW just lets you loose in the massive game with only the vaguest of guidance. Odyssey gives you a massive blank checklist and dares you to fill it in by exploring every nook and cranny looking for mini-games, secret levels, and some random weird crap, each one awarding you with a power moon. Mario; his versatile, sentient hat companion Cappy; and I have collected 863 moons so far. That means I have done over 800 things in this game, and I just want to play more.

Which is why I’m breaking from my regular format and actually explaining this list. According to the checklist, I have 15 moons left. I’ve attempted them all, and even though I want to make it very clear I love the shit out of this game, 10 of them are fucking god awful. Why do they have to sully this near-perfect game with their incessant existence? Screw 100%. They’re not worth my time. This screen shot is basically my endgame (I won’t spoil how to do this), so fuck it.


Top 10 Power Moons I Don’t Need in My Life

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