Sunday, March 13, 2022

Gosh, At Least They’re Not Gambling


49ers, Bears, Bengals, Bills, Browns, Cardinals, Chargers, Chiefs, Cowboys, Jaguars, Patriots, Ravens 

UPDATE: Guess I was wrong.  A day after saying they were out of the Watson sweepstakes and Baker Mayfield wasn’t allowed to leave, the Browns decided to keep at least one sexual predator in the AFC North. Baker appears to still be held against his will.


Falcons- Matt Ryan has been the face of the franchise for 14 years, so they’re not just going to let him go. On the other hand, he’s been playing for 14 years, and the Falcons just finished 7-10. If Matty Ice was ready to retire or move on, I feel like we won’t know right up until it happens. UPDATE: Wow! Did not see that coming. Ryan's a Colt. With their awful 2021 performance, are they now in contention for a high draft pick QB? And is Marcus Mariota enough to backup the real 2022 starter, or are they actually giving him. second shot? UPDATE 4/29: If Mariota doesn't cut it, maybe third rounder Desmond Ridder will be able to somehow show letting Ryan go was actually a good idea.

Giants- If you ask anyone but the Giants organization if Danny Dimes is QB of the future, they’d probably think you were insane for even thinking he could. But the franchise that kept a shaky Eli Manning on the roster for over a decade is likely to stick it out and see if their new head coach can turn him into the kind of QB only a man who calls himself Danny Dimes could think he is. UPDATE: Jones is going to have to keep up with Tyrod Taylor if he wants to keep the job he clearly doesn’t deserve. UPDATE 4/28: Giants are not picking up Jones’s fifth-year option. Let’s see what they do in the draft today.

Jets- You’d have to be really bad at football to bail on your #2 draft pick in his second year. But this is the Jets we’re talking about, and they do hold #4 and #10 picks. Wilson is probably safe for one more year.Keep Reading >>


Tuesday, January 4, 2022

Numbers Time: Parity 2: Back in the Habit

This may be the most even playoff field in recent years. Five NFC teams are in a tight pack at the top, but the Wild Card teams could easily play spoilers. The AFC is so even, it’s possible only two games could separate the #1 seed and a team that gets eliminated. Only the Packers have locked in a bye, but that’s not because they’re overly dominant, they just have tie breakers over the rest of the pack. In a year this even, it’s not surprising so few games just don’t matter.

NFC: Go Forth From Fourth

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Wednesday, December 29, 2021

Explained List: Hockey Pants

 #6 - Tenet

Is this movie good? Honestly, no. Not really. Or at all. Have I already watched it 3 times in the year it came out? Yes. I firmly believe in collaborative filmmaking, and as such, I usually don’t enjoy movies made by a writer/director. There needs to be another voice in the room to prevent an artist from getting lost too far up their own ass. For years, this was clearly his brother Jonathan, who always made sure the insanity was rooted in character and emotion. Tenet is plain silliness that thinks it’s really serious and deep. But damn if I’m not along for the ride. That Tallinn car chase is so involved it takes multiple viewings to fully grasp, which is totally fine if the plan is to just put it on in the background and half pay attention to it. I think the thing I love the most about this movie is that I can make fun of it on every level, like absolutely rip it to shreds, and still enjoy the hell out of it.

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Tuesday, December 28, 2021

Explained List: Murph!

#11 - Following

It’s just not fair to judge this feature against his others. It’s a marvel a small movie like this got made at all, and I’m thrilled it got noticed and we have the other movies on this list to enjoy. You can see Nolan’s fascinations here right from the start. It’s non-linear. It’s about two men in suits, and the woman is just kind of window dressing. There’s a guy named Cobb. The only thing I remember, though, is being bored to tears.

#10 - The Dark Knight Rises

A bad Nolan movie is still leaps and bounds better than most. It’s just hard to watch this movie without judging it against the films that came before. Nolan was going to make a bunch of great movies, and if this is what he had to do to get carte-blanche, power to him. If you’re gonna sell your soul, at least do it for a good reason. This movie, though, is just so bad. Top to bottom, so bad. From Bane’s ridiculous voice to that flaming bat on the bridge he had time to make despite a literal ticking clock to Blake’s birth name being… sigh… Robin, this film was clearly a project to just get done and move on. At least he tried to say something about class warfare, but ultimately, it was a completely empty piece of fluff. And for real, how the hell did his back get fixed? And he got to Gotham from the Middle East with no money? Okay, I’ll stop.

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Friday, December 24, 2021

Unexplained List: Wasting Your Time

15) Sassafras Roots
14) Pulling Teeth
13) Chump
12) In The End
11) Enemius Sleepus
10) All by Myself
9) Having A Blast
8) F.O.D.
7) Longview
6) Coming Clean
5) She
4) When I Come Around
3) Burnout
2) Basket Case
1) Welcome to Paradise

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Unexplained List: Closet Skeletons

40) Reject (N)
39) Disappearing Boy (39)
38) Brain Stew (I)
37) Viva La Gloria (21)
36) Peacemaker (21)
35) All by Myself (D)
34) Deadbeat Holiday (W)
33) Nice Guys Finish Last (N)
32) The Grouch (N)
31) Having A Blast (D)
30) Good Riddance (N)
29) Who Wrote Holden Caulfield? (K)
28) 80 (K)
27) Holiday (A)
26) 409 In Your Coffeemaker (39)
25) F.O.D. (D)
24) Minority (W)
23) East Jesus Nowhere (21)
22) Longview (D)
21) She's a Rebel (A)
20) Stuart and the Ave (I)
19) Armatage Shanks (I)
18) Stuck With Me (I)
17) Coming Clean (D)
16) She (D)
15) 86 (I)
14) Worry Rock (N)
13) Prosthetic Head (N)
12) Paper Lanterns (39)
11) Whatsername (A)
10) Letterbomb (A)
9) When I Come Around (D)
8) Burnout (D)
7) Jesus of Suburbia (A)
6) Dry Ice (39)
5) J.A.R.
4) Hitchin a Ride (N)
3) Basket Case (D)
2) Welcome to Paradise (D)
1) Geek Stink Breath (I)

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Wednesday, September 29, 2021

Unexplained List: ALERT ALERT ALERT

36a) Paul
36) Bryant
35) Bill
34) Mitchell
33) Michelle
32) Lance Bass
31) Daniel
30) Antonio
29) Ava
28) Alana
27) Miranda
26) Adam
25) Joey
24) Emily
23) Isabella
22) Ashley
21a) Everson
21) Sean
20) River
19) Chloe
18a) Bru
18) Mercedeze
17a) Crissa 
17) Ed
16) Terilisha
15) Nick
13) Ruksana
13) Jacki
12) Jackson
11a) Carol
11) Shubham
10) Rebecca
9) Khat
8a) Jared
8) Savannah
7) Calvin
6a) Alyssa
6) Courtney
5) James
4) Chris
3) Kai
2) Sammie
1) Trevor

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Saturday, September 11, 2021

75 Actors Who Were on "Star Trek" and "MacGyver"

If you don't have cable, you might spend a lot of time watching H&I. If you watch H&I, you know they show a lot of MacGyver and a lot of Star Trek. You watch enough MacGyver, and you recognize a lot of actors. And if you're like me, once you realize they're mostly from Star Trek, you won't stop until you compile a comprehensive list of those actors. Of course, then you'll realize there isn't an easy way to cross check five different series (I only did TNG, DS9, VOY, and ENT), so you have to compare the two lists manually, name by name.

(yes, I am aware many of these actors played multiple roles. I'll sift through a thousand names, but I'm still lazy)

MacGyver Recurring Characters

Bruce McGill - Captain Braxton / Jack Dalton (MacGyver's BFF)

Teri Hatcher - Lt. Robinson / Penny Parker (MacGyver's love interest)

John Anderson - Kevin Uxbridge / Harry Jackson (MacGyver's Grandpa)
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Thursday, May 6, 2021

Unexplained List: Oh My God We Did It

50) Girls
49) Murphy Brown
48) Friends
47) Fresh Off the Boat
46) Head of the Class
45) Black-ish
44) Insecure
43) That 70s Show
42) Bewitched
41) The Golden Girls
40) Spin City
39) Night Court
38) Futurama
37) NewsRadio
36) 3rd Rock From the Sun
35) Mad About You
34) Boy Meets World
33) Silicon Valley
32) Schitt’s Creek
31) Scrubs
30) Better Off Ted
29) Fresh Prince of Bel Air
28) Daria
27) Don’t Trust the B...
26) Get Smart
25) Louie
24) Atlanta
23) Episodes
22) Rick & Morty
21) Happy Endings
20) How I Met Your Mother
19) Extras
18) All in the Family
17) 30 Rock
16) The Good Place
15) The Simpsons
14) South Park
13) Curb Your Enthusiasm
12) I Love Lucy
11) Search Party
10) Brooklyn Nine-Nine
9) It’s Always Sunny...
8) Community
7) Archer
6) Frasier
5) Seinfeld
4) Arrested Development
3) Veep
2) You're the Worst
1) Sports Night

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Monday, February 8, 2021

Numbers Time: Ten GOAT

Let me get this out of the way, up front. After being a big fan and defender of Tom Brady for two decades, I am finally off the bandwagon. I find his support of Antonio Brown indefensible. It's clear Belichick was the moral center of the Patriots, and had he had this success on another team, Brady would have enabled far more monsters. That being said, his achievements on a pure numbers level are worth looking at in how absurdly high some of his stats are.

With 7 Super Bowl wins, Tom Brady has won more Super Bowls than any entire NFL team, more than any other player. Only Bill Belichick has more, 6 with the Patriots, 2 with the Giants. One administrator has 7, but who cares about that guy?

He has won more Super Bowls than the worst 18 Super Bowl teams, combined (including the four teams who have never even been to one)

He has won more Super Bowls than 3 entire divisions, the NFC North, AFC and NFC South. He ties the NFC West as a whole.

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