This Is a Blog: Them Crazy Veeps: 21-20

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Them Crazy Veeps: 21-20

The Veeps are ranked and ready to go. Starting at the middle, as the green numbers get lower, the guys get better, but as the red numbers go down, we get into some crazy-ass mother-fuckers. (2 of 12)

#21 - Hubert Horatio Humphrey (Senator, Democrat-MN) 1965-1969 (1 full term) Pres: L. B. Johnson

When suddenly the prospect of becoming president laid before him, the once forceful Senator turned into a giant wuss ball. Even though he disagreed with Johnson on many issues, he just fell into line. Somehow thinking it would make him more electable, he went on Johnny Carson a lot, which only made him look like kind of a buffoon. He was still a viable candidate in 1968, but Nixon kicked his ass.

#20 - Theodore Roosevelt (Governor, Republican-NY) 1901 (ascended) Pres: McKinley

When President McKinley was shot in 1901, Roosevelt began one of the most energetic and progressive presidencies in American history. His time as president changed how the federal government operated. Why the hell did I rank him all the way down here? I'll tell you. He was a pretty awful VP. McKinley loved his first VP, Garret Hobart, and powerlessly opposed the party adding TR to the 1900 ticket. Instead of accepting his role as the de-balled step-child, Roosevelt just sort of disappeared.

#21 - Elbridge Gerry (Governor, Democratic-Republican-MA) 1813-1814 (died) Pres: Madison

Madison had horrible luck with running mates. His first one was a pain in the ass, then died on him. At least Gerry supported him before he died less than 2 years into the term. A centrist who supported his president during war time, the only reason he sits on the bad side is if something had happened to Madison, Gerry probably would have died shortly thereafter. (Update 2/11/11 - Learned today the term Gerry-mandering refers to his re-districting practices. Good thing I put him on the bad side.)

#20 - James Danforth Quayle (Senator, Republican-IN) 1989-1993 (1 full term) Pres: G. H. W. Bush

What's worse than dying so early in your term your office is empty longer than you've held it? That would be Dan Quayle. The idea that this idiot could have been president scares the crap out of me. My God, what if Bush had died during the Gulf War? Quayle couldn't organize a complete sentence, let alone a ground war. He's only this high because he supported the president.

Coming Up - Which VP slept through a confirmation hearing?

Later - Which VP wrote a book that included a scientific explanation for the smell of, um, African-Americans?

Labels: ,


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home

Newer Posts Older Posts