Monday, November 29, 2010

McCain and Obama Are Funny Guys


Here are my favorite lines from the Al Smith Dinner, paraphrased because I'm too lazy to look for a transcript. This is not a dialogue, these are random snippets, alternating back and forth between the two.

Obama: My middle name was given to me by people who, well, never imagined i'd run for president... Barack is actually Swahili for "that guy."

McCain: Joe Biden told Joe the Plumber that he'd never make $250K in a year, so he won't be affected by the Obama tax plan. What Senator Biden doesn't know is Joe the Plumber was just hired by a wealthy couple to do all the work on their seven houses.

Obama: The McCain campaign fears whenever we discuss the economy it hurts their candidate. So I'd like to take a moment to discuss the economy

McCain: I look around this room, and I know some of these Democrats are secretly supporting me. I'm glad you could make it, Senator Clinton.

Obama: I thought I would take a moment to tell you a bit about myself. Despite what you may have heard, i was not born in a manger. I was born on Krypton. My father Jor-El sent me here to save the Earth. I think my greatest strength is my humility. And my greatest weakness is sometimes I'm too awesome.

McCain: I was talking to Joe Biden, or as I now call him, Joe the Senator.

Obama: I was talking to Joe Biden, or as John McCain now calls him, Joe the Six-Term Senator

McCain: I have actually fired my entire campaign staff, and their positions have all been filled by Joe the Plumber.

Obama: Fox News actually accused me of fathering two African-American children...
... in wedlock.

Obama: I'm glad to be here at the Waldorf-Astoria. From the front door you can see all the way to the Russian Tea Room.



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