Nintendo Replayed: Wheel of Fortune

[originally written for overtimecomedy.com on 4/1/08] 

The same Hanukkah's eve we got our Nintendo, my parents included Wheel of Fortune. I can only assume it's because they thought my sisters and I are stupid. Without exception, everything is wrong with this game. Putting aside the idiocy of the game show, the game play is just weird. The puzzles in the final round are too long and they don't give you the luxury of R S T L N E. The 8-bit Vanna looks chubby, and computer players are about as dumb as the average Wheel of Fortune contestant. So you get lots of playing time, but for what purpose? If you solve the impossibly hard final puzzle, you win a prize you'll never actually get. Fun!