This Is a Blog: List of Thrones: A Man Named Kevan

Wednesday, September 21, 2022

List of Thrones: A Man Named Kevan

After finishing a Game of Thrones re-watch and starting a books re-read, I decided to rank the top 100 characters in the show and books. My opinions are based on an amorphous mix of show and book stuff, even when they contradict. I don’t have something interesting to say about all 100, so they’ll be listed without comment.
100-81 | 80-61 | 60-41 | 40-21 | 20-11 | 10-1

100) Edmure Tully
I can think of no better way to honor the Lord of Riverrun than to put him at the bottom of a list. He’s only here because of how much, and how multi-facetedly, he sucks. Can’t blame him, though, hard to get better at shooting an arrow when you’re a hostage of the lamest House in Westeros.
99) Meryn Trant
98) Lancel Lannister
97) Balon Greyjoy
96) Alliser Thorne
95) Randyll Tarly

Balon, Alliser, and Randyll are all basically the same character, a gruff old man who exists to make a younger character feel like shit. Randyll tops the three because in the books he looms across the Riverlands as Brienne searches for Sansa. His no-nonsense approach to the world makes him a villain to be feared.
94) Grand Maester Pycelle
93) Tommen Baratheon

I considered ranking him higher because of his importance to the story. Ultimately, he doesn’t do much except get manipulated. He’s a blank slate, a power void for better characters to fill.
92) Belwas
91) Lyanna Stark

The face that launched a thousand wars. We never really get a sense of her personality, only her beauty. If the show is to be believed, her place in the story looms large, and her decisions have massive consequences.
90) Hot Pie
89) Kevan Lannister

Honestly, he’s only here because his name is Kevan. What the hell is a Kevan doing in this world?
88) Maester Luwin
87) Vargo Hoat

He has a lisp. That’s it. In a story with hundreds of named characters, all it takes is a lisp to make a man memorable.
86) Maester Cressen
By far the best prologue in the books is Maester Cressen’s failed attempt to take down Melisandre. He gets a whole story, not just a piece of one, and he’s the perfect lens through which to meet Stannis and his insane religious nonsense, which will loom large over the rest of what’s to come. Honorable mention: the forgettable Maester Pylos who replaces him.
85) Stannis Baratheon
84) Wyman Manderly

The fat man of White Harbor, how I love your japes. His chapter with Davos is a welcome delight as everything goes to shit.
83) Hizdahr zo Loraq
Of all the cravens in this world, you, Hizdahr, are the cravenest. Your blind loyalty to the system that props you up is a beacon to all born into generational wealth. May you find in the afterlife the paradise a man of your position clearly deserves. It takes true bravery to fight for the right to own slaves and make them fight to the death for your amusement. Tradition!
82) Jeor Mormont
If this were a list of people I’d want to hang out with, the Great Bear would be higher. He’s a man of honor whose insight and devotion to duty put the presumptive main character on a path to greatness (or death depending on what you believe in the books). His influence is more interesting than him, though.
81) Hodor

Labels: , ,


Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home

Newer Posts Older Posts