This Is a Blog: List of Thrones: A Knife in Your Heart

Wednesday, September 21, 2022

List of Thrones: A Knife in Your Heart

After finishing a Game of Thrones re-watch and starting a books re-read, I decided to rank the top 100 characters in the show and books. My opinions are based on an amorphous mix of show and book stuff, even when they contradict. I don’t have something interesting to say about all 100, so they’ll be listed without comment.
100-81 | 80-61 | 60-41 | 40-21 | 20-11 | 10-1

60) Daario Naharis
59) Jon Snow

How dare I rank the main character so low?!?!?! The most striking thing about my GoT re-watch was how much I missed the first time because every time a Jon Snow scene came up, I zoned out. The snow was boring to look at, and somehow Jon is even more boring to watch. Every time the snow jumped to the Wall, I remember thinking, “This is probably REALLY important, but I just don’t care.” He comes alive in the battle of Castle Black and again in the Battle of Winterfell, but that’s it. He’s so boring, the show didn’t know what to do with him other than make him “not want it.” Reading Jon isn’t that much better. A Dance With Dragons is basically a third Jon, a third Dany, and a third Tyrion. Dany and Tyrion are off in Essos having great adventures, escaping slavers, ruling a city, taming dragons. Jon just broods in the snow. No wonder after the second book, GRRM makes Sam a POV character. No one cares what Jon thinks. He knows nothing!
58) Mirri Maz Duur
She killed the greatest horse lord in Essos with a fucking infection. Bad. Ass. Then she killed Dany’s baby and made her sterile. Huge impact for such a small presense.
57) Sarella Sand
The best of the Sand Snakes. They deserved better in the show. Big hopes for the next two books.
56) Areo Hotah
His love for Arianne is so pure.
55) Thoros of Myr
A drunk priest with a flaming sword. He’s keeping Beric alive for some reason, can’t wait to find out why.
54) Gregor Clegane
53) Sallador Saan
52) Shae

One of the few characters done so much better in the show. She gets so fucked around by powerful men, and when she lashes out, she’s murdered for it. Tyrion’s sparring partners always get extra love from me, and Shae held her own longer than most.
51) Theon Greyjoy
The Reek reveal in the book is so fucking good. We just meet a character named Reek. He’s a POV character, and up until this point, we’ve heard about Ramsay’s servant Reek, but why does he get to be a POV character? Turns out Reek #1 died, and this person we’ve been following is actually Theon. Even before he’s broken (which we thankfully don’t have to endure in the books) Theon is a sniveling baby, and he gets everything he deserves and more.
50) Lysa Arryn
49) Arys Oakheart

What a perfect way to meet Arianne Martell. Arys loves her so much, he has no idea she’s manipulating him. He gives up everything for her, and pays for it in the end. So sad.
48) Khal Drogo
47) Varamyr Sixskins

Another great prologue POV character. It’s so much fun following a wildling warg and just living in his head for a while, while he lives in the heads of animals.
46) Septa Lemore
A bawdy nun, sign me up. She’s a highlight of Tyrion’s adventures in Meereen.
45) Qhorin Halfhand
44) Craster

GRRM does villains so well. He’s the Watch’s most important ally north of the Wall, but he beds his daughters, then his granddaughter/daughters, and so forth, and kills his sons. That is so fucked up.
43) Missandei
So much better on the show than the books. She’s just so sweet and innocent and proves herself to be much smarter than she first seems. She’s Dany’s heart and soul, and a much needed softer side to the Dragon Queen’s conquest.
42) Barristan Selmy
The show did him dirty. GRRM swears Barristan still being alive in the books is important, so hopefully that pans out. Every fantasy story needs the wise, old knight who could still kick everyone’s ass.
41) Jorah Mormont
Poor Jorah. He grows and learns from his mistakes, but every time he grows, his past mistakes bite him in the ass. His love for his Queen is so deep, but he has so much work to do on himself before he can earn his place at her side. His love for his Queen is also creepy as fuck. I love how before he dies, people just keep offering him Valyrian steel swords, and it’s always because they love his father more than him. After already spurning his family’s sword, Sam offering Jorah the Tarly sword made me cry a little. Not gonna lie, though, I hope Barristan being alive in the books makes Jorah killable. He got a good ending in the show, but I’d be okay if that was Barristan instead.

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