I Too Dislike Shaquille O'Neal

[originally written for overtimecomedy.com on 1/7/08] 

Spend enough time on the internet and you'll find a lot of people have a severe distaste for Shaq. It could be that ridiculous term "Shaq Attack." Maybe it's the rap albums, even the "Best Of..." rap album. Could be it's the utter failure of such cinematic abortions as "Blue Chips" and "Kazaam" and "Steel." The best possibility is that darkest of dark moments in video game history, "Shaq Fu."

Personally, my problem with him is that he's not THAT good a basketball player.  Look, I remember his all-star rookie game. The ball bounced so high, no one else could get to it, but Shaq just reached out and palmed it. That was fucking cool. For the rest of his career, though, he wasn't quite as good as Kobe or LeBron. With all the hype he gets, you'd think he was the next Michael Jordan.

The difference is MJ became the best basketball player in the world BEFORE he sold out his image. Maybe if Shaq had spent more time learning to be a better basketball player and less time on selling out, the internet wouldn't hate him so much. Just a thought.