Thursday, September 17, 2009

The World Needs More... (part 2)

Seriously Deluded Politicians
(Sarah Palin, Joe Wilson, Dennis Kucinich)

Sarah Palin is the best thing to happen to American politics in years. I cannot get enough of her. Clearly, she has a bunch of guys feeding her information and she can't be bothered to fact check it. I was getting tired of politicians debating issues. What really brings the message home is when people with a microphone just stand up and throw scary made up shit into the mix. Death panels? That chick'll say anything to get elected something. What's she running for? Who knows? But she's gonna win.


(Guy on cell phone, Lady who forgets she has a turn signal, Whoever's nearby)

It's only a couple ton piece of machinery, other people will just get out of your way. The conversation on your cell phone, way more important. Change lanes or stop to make a turn whenever you feel like it, without giving any sort of indication to the other drivers you intend to do so. God, if only there was some sort of device to communicate all that so easily. Oh, the turn signal. Fuck that. That's just revealing your plans to the enemy. You know what, fuck the other people on the road. I'm just going to honk at them whenever I feel like it. It's not like the horn was placed in cars to avoid accidents.


Here's a secret. Liberals LOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVEEEEEEE killing babies. We get off on it. Seriously. We sit around looking for those smaller than us to wipe out, and since we're all skinny, weak intellectuals, really only babies fit the bill. I'm glad you guys are out there reminding us that we're not rapidly approaching 7 billion people strong without the resources to support even 6 billion, so people who do the responsible thing when they accidentally get pregnant should really focus on the narrow moral issue and not the big picture.

Families with 10+ Children
(Octomom, The Duggars)

Speaking of overpopulation, I love the Duggars. These people have balls. They say only-children don't know how to share, but these guys are hording all our planets precious resources for their legions of children. As a twenty-something, I'm a bit worried about my seed surviving. The Duggars have it all figured out, just freak and let the chips fall. If they keep this up, the world will be predominantly Duggar. That's bad ass. Oh, let's not forget Octomom. God told her six kids is enough, and she said, "Fuck you, nameless deity."

Pundits / Unqualified Opinions

(Everyone, even guests, on CNN, MSNBC, Fox News, TV at large)

Truth is relative. It's very Zen. What is truth, really? If someone wearing a tie says something on TV, it goes out to millions of people, most of which will repeat it without corroborating evidence. Sarah Palin says, without evidence, that Obama's health plan includes Death Panels out to kill grandma. The pundits repeat it, even when they're saying, "There are no Death Panels," they're repeating it. In an attempt to be "fair and balanced" they cart out an unqualified crackpot to say Death Panels exist to counter the learned experts who say there aren't. There is actually something in writing declaring what is and isn't part of this bill (by which I mean the bill itself), and still people say they hate Obama's plan because they're against Death Panels. Pundits have the real power in this country, and if everyone on the internet acted like a pundit, we could all rule the world, every last one of us. Fact checking and giving a crap about consequences, or even other people, is for suckers.

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