Fall Movie Preview: My Takes

All About Steve (when guys do it, it's romantic. when girls do it, it's stalking)

Gamer (the movie looks awful, and I can't wait to see it)

New Moon (a sequel to that Sam Rockwell movie, already?)

Jennifer's Body (it's gonna be just like Juno, right?)

Love Happens (Along Came Picture Perfect Good Girl Break Up Friends)

Surrogates (like A Scanner Darkly, without the distracting rotoscoping, oh, and a plot)

Capitalism: A Love Story (when last we saw Michael Moore, he was masturbating all over himself, how will he follow that?)

The Informant! (the title has an exclamation point!!!!)

Fame (doctor? laywer? no, children, what the world needs is more actors)

Coco Before Chanel (Audrey, you're really testing my love for you)

Amelia (Swank, just come out of the closet already)

Ong Bak 2 (he's just going to keep hitting you in the head)

Saw VI (i hope they never stop making these)

Nine (wait, is this the one with Judi Densch and Fergie or the one with the ass kicking dolls?)

2012 (no one blows up cities like Roland Emmerich)

The Blind Side (white people fix black people)

Sherlock Holmes (i fuckin' hate pikeys, dear watson)

Brothers (Tobey Maguire and his brother, poor man's Toby Maguire)