Losers in Brief: Wilson Sucks

(part 7 of 12)

Since 1789, 112 men have won at least one electoral vote. Of that group, 65 never became President or Vice President. Of them, 30 were a bunch of ambitious losers who tried for the most powerful office in the country and failed. The other 35, you’ll have to read to find out. These are their stories.

Charles Evans Hughes (Supreme Court Justice, Republican-NY) Lost to Wilson-1916

Hughes blasted onto the scene, defeating none other than William Randolph Hearst to win the Governorship of New York, despite no other Republican winning a single other seat in the entire state. Another on TR’s short list of cool dudes, Hughes carried the Progressive banner onto the Supreme Court, and when it came time to take down Wilson, Hughes was the obvious choice.

So why’d he lose? We were at war. It was a close race, but incumbents never lose when we’re at war. I don’t think Hughes wasted many tears, though. He was Harding’s Secretary of State, then Hoover appointed him Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, where he lasted just long enough to piss off FDR.

James Middleton Cox (Governor, Democrat-OH) Lost to Harding-1920

Speaking of FDR, the most famous thing about Cox was his running mate, a young Franklin Delano Roosevelt. Cox is another one that would have made a great president, especially since the asshole he lost to was Harding. The people of his state loved him, and he stood for reform and internationalism. He was a Wilson man through and through.

So why’d he lose? He was a Wilson man through and through. In 1920 everyone was just fed up with Wilson. He lost to fucking Harding. Harding! People are stupid. Fucking Wilson.