Michael Vick? Now I'm Fucked

The Philadelphia Eagles just signed Michael Vick. Awesome.

My family's from Philadelphia, but I grew up near Boston. I am simultaneously a Patriots fan and an Eagles fan. Impossible, you say? Fuck you. I like two teams, deal with it. In a head-to-head like today's game, I root for the Patriots. You know what, though? It makes football more enjoyable. Football's a better game when you really care about one team, and I get twice as many games I really care about. The 2003-2004 post-season was fucking intense as I watched my two teams run inevitably toward each other. Since then, being a dual fan has been even harder because everyone expects me to pick a side.

Outside Boston, being a Patriots fan sucks. Why am I a Pats fan? Well, because I grew up like five minutes from Foxboro Stadium. They were my team before I even know what football was. Since they started winning Super Bowls, everyone's started hating them, like people have despised the Yankees for years. Since they started winning, I've liked them even more. They're just a solid team. The offense always keeps you guessing, and the defense, while not perfect, has some of the best players in the league.

That whole cheating thing just made matters worse. All you babies still pissed off that my boys killed your sweet winning streak five years ago get to whine about how the Pats didn't deserve their way to three Super Bowl wins. I deal with it because I love my team.

Now the Eagles signed Michael Vick. Football prowess aside, signing Vick means quite simply that the Eagles organization is okay with dog fighting. Before he got arrested, I loved Michael Vick. I was emotionally invested in hoping he'd mature into the great quarterback he had the potential to be. After the dog fighting came to light, my investment in Vick ended. It doesn't fucking matter how well he plays the game, he forces cute puppies into harm's way. When he was re-enstated, I figured the Lions would pick him up. Their desperation gives them an excuse to look the other way. There is no excuse for the Eagles to sign him.

So great. My teams are cheaters and puppy killers. Awesome.